Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
