Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
