I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
