She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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