I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
