I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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