i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
