He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
4 words: hood of his car
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
