If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
