My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just cut my nipple shaving
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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