i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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