Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
