Since when is my name a synonym for head?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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