I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
