belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
