He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize