Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
