you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Randomize
