So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
