i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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