how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
