"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
