I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
