I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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