We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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