1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
