I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
