i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
