Can Purell be used as lube?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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