It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
