My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
