omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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