i think my mom watched the whole time
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she looked like the before picture.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
