my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
How external is "for external use only"?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize