I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
