One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
