I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
