Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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