Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
