Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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