I'd wear matching sweaters with you
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
