He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
