I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
