my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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