I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
