i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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