BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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