i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
