She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
