You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
