Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
