Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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