You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
