The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize