hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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