All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
