I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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