Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
