All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
