I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
