I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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