i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
