no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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