I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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