We're like a lot better than the average bears
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
