Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
